mittenmusings

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July 05, 2005

Open door policy

Aaah...leave it to the lovely weese to send out her finely tuned Gaydar waves on my last post.

Yes, dear, T was a woman.

I didn't specifically mention pronouns. Was I being sneaky or misleading? Um, no...the picture I chose is a dead giveaway. It's just the pronoun or gender of T never made a difference to me. She was just one of my past lovers whom I think about from time to time.

I have always been attracted to both men and women. From as long back as I can remember, I had crushes on boys and girls. Sure, it was all a little confusing in Catholic school, but I managed. It wasn't until I left home for college in very liberal western Massachusetts that I began to try to have relationships anyhow. Once I did, they were with both men and women. It felt right. It felt natural.

It never has been completely about the, er, "parts" or "plumbing" that makes for a potential partner. For me, it's always been the person. Do they have a spark? A twinkle in their eye? A sassy curve to their brow? An infectious laugh? An interesting life story? Those are the qualities that attract me. The "parts," well, they've always tended to work themselves out, to put it delicately.

And T? I truly adored her. She was smart, feisty, fun, open, and honest. I admired her in many ways. Alas, we drifted apart after she went through a really tough personal time...and then she spent her junior year abroad...yadda yadda. Ah well. I still cherish memories of the time I spent with her, brief and long ago though it was.

The conundrum of it all is that I've been married twice to men, and neither union has worked out particularly well. Now, I'm not saying that they've sent me screaming back to the Sapphic side, but it does give me something to think about. Good therapy fodder, too. :)

Posted by Lisa at July 5, 2005 01:59 PM

Comments

Posted by: Faith at July 5, 2005 06:55 PM

Posted by: lisa at July 6, 2005 09:34 AM