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July 06, 2005
He's baaaaaaaack....
So, after a whirlwind tour of the globe, my husband has returned. He spent most of the 12 days he was gone on business, but did attend the girls' commitment ceremony. I did not attend said ceremony. I adore those girls, but all that time making nice and celebrating unions would have been impossible for me right now. Husband said, "You could have gone, you know." Mmm, yah...no.
He was bitching this morning about how uncomfortable it is to live here with me. "I really didn't want to come home," said. At the godforsaken hour of 6:45 this morning, he started asking me again about apartments. "Have you been looking? How long do you intend to stay here? Won't it be a better situation if you move out?"
Yah, I feel wanted.
It makes no sense for me to move until I get a job. I want to be within a reasonable distance of work. I don't think that's too much to ask. I'm really between a rock and a hard place right now. He's in an all fire hurry to get me the Hell outta here. Yes, I know our situation is strained, but hey...I've only got so many options.
It also sticks in my craw that he is the one gunning for a divorce, but I get to make all the changes. I will have the new job, smaller place to live, and dog responsibilities. He gets to stay in his $100K+ cushy job, beautiful home, and have no shared dog duties. It doesn't exactly seem fair to me. I know, I know: life ain't fair. But that doesn't mean I can't get a little pissy about it.
The one good thing is that he has agreed to include a mediator in our divorce proceedings. This will be a neutral third party who will guide our property division discussions. This is a load off my mind. I think that having such a person present will help keep us on track and on topic. I also tend to get a little hot under the collar when stressed out, and could use the assistance keeping cool.
While he was gone, I thought I missed my husband. Now that he's back, I just wish he'd go away again. It's such a far cry from the beginning of our relationship, where there was a fair geographical distance between us. I remember pining for him, wanting to be in his presence. The ache for him was almost unbearable. It stuns me how things have changed.
Posted by Lisa at July 6, 2005 07:23 AM
Comments
Lurker here via The Lisa Life -- I lived with an ex-boyfriend after our breakup and it was excruciating. Thinking of you!
Posted by: Stacy at July 6, 2005 08:58 AM
Typical.
Sounds to me like he's in a hurry to get you moved out so he can show that you don't need/deserve as many of the assets when the property division starts. Good for you for staying put!
Take care of yourself & Ms. Roxie..
Posted by: Cin at July 6, 2005 10:51 AM
One word, Lisa: ALIMONY. And lots of it. Don't let him screw you over. I'm rooting for ya, girl!
Posted by: Michelle at July 6, 2005 04:21 PM
Men. Did you agree to make all of the changes? If you're looking for a clean break, great--that will help--but please don't compromise. The mediator is a great idea, at least he agreed to that.
When I was going through my divorce I rented a room from a male friend of mine--it seemed very odd at first, but in the end was the best thing I could have done. I felt safe, which after coming out of a thirteen year marriage was very important to me. Are you an alone person or do you always need someone around? I'm the latter, so this worked great for me. Plus I was able to save some cash to put down on a townhouse two eighteen months later.
Rambling...good luck with this. Hope to hear more GOOD news.
Posted by: Lisa O at July 6, 2005 06:37 PM