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October 22, 2005
Farewell.
I saw my husband for probably the last time ever on Thursday night.
I had let him borrow my vacuum. I also had come across a few personal items of his that I needed to return. So, I drove over to our soon-to-be-former home to make those exchanges.
On the way over, it hit me: oh my goodness...this will be the last time I see R(husband) in the flesh. Ever. He's moving to his new life in NYC, you see, with his new job and new girlfriend and postage stamp sized apartment. There will be no reason for him to return to Michigan. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks as I steered my VW over to the house. My chest was tight and my face was hot. My lower lip was quivering.
I pulled into the drive and strolled up to the door. I got my vacuum back and dropped off what I had to. It was awkward. We made lame small talk. We chatted a lot about my new job. Blah blah.
As I was leaving, I felt I had to say something.
"You know, this is probably going to me the last time we see each other," I said.
He nodded wordlessly, eyes downcast.
"I hope that your new life goes well, and that you get the help you need."
His eyes looked up, swimming in tears.
I stared him right in the eye, and waited till he held my gaze.
"I would have loved you, you know, through whatever you're going through, but you never gave me the chance."
Then I turned and opened the screen door, exiting my old life once and for all.
Posted by Lisa at October 22, 2005 08:22 PM
Comments
Don't you wish that it'll be the last time you see and hear from him? Yes you do love. Because it won't be, trust me. There will be something he forgot, you forgot, something he want's to fight over, some little detail, etc. Divorce is never an easy thing and it will go on far longer than you want it too, even after the settlement and legal wrangling is over. Just be prepared for that, ok?
Martin
Posted by: Martin at October 22, 2005 11:23 PM
Ah... that's rough...
Hang in there Lisa... Good thoughts going out to you.
Posted by: Snidget at October 23, 2005 06:57 PM
It's strange how fate conspires 'against' us. ... I love your 'last' words to him.
Posted by: Erin at October 24, 2005 12:19 AM
Lisa: You ROCK, girl! That was the PERFECT thing to say, whether you see him again or not. Gave him food for thought, and made you look like the mature and credible on (even though we all know you are). Good for you---now, try not to look back. That's the hard part. Here's to better days ahead. :)
Posted by: Michelle at October 25, 2005 02:14 PM